5 Easy Steps to Feel Better About Yourself

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Feel better about yourself one step at a time

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been in a fashion and beauty slump. For more reasons than I can count, I’ve sort of lost touch with caring about how I look. It’s not to say that I don’t look professional or clean when I leave the house, but the effort behind my “look” is at about a level 2 (er, if I’m being generous).

It probably started right after college when I was in that weird “in-between” in life. I moved back home, was still trying to find my big girl job and was saving every penny so that I could move back out on my own. Long story short, my priorities shifted. Around that time, I also started getting serious about creating a healthier lifestyle – eating better, working out more and drinking less. I’m proud to say that within a few years of graduating from college, during which time I had gained a lot of weight, I had safely lost about 20 pounds. While it was the best I had felt inside and out in a long time, my wardrobe suffered from me not knowing what size to buy anymore.

I got by on clearance rack buys and mixing some professional necessities with a few weekend pieces. My wardrobe was haphazardous, ill-fitting and mostly gray and black. It became such a cycle of this meh feeling about my outfits, that I sort of stopped caring altogether.

And then for hair and makeup, I’ve always maintained a more natural look. I have naturally light brown/dark blond curly hair and relatively clear skin. So I typically wear my hair down and natural or up in a bun. There are two days of the week – “I washed my hair and it looks good” days or “it’s not freshly washed and it’s up and out of my face” days. And the makeup is basically a natural look that I can accomplish in five minutes, give or take.

So there you have it, a post-grad grayish-clothed naturally curly… mess. Yep, I feel like a mess. Like I said, I know I don’t look unkempt, but I certainly don’t feel like my best self. And the worst part is, my husband has noticed and it’s not usual for guys to notice what unfashionable is. We’ve always been very honest with each other and he basically told me that I’m not living up to my own standards- that I’m not reflecting on the outside who I am on the inside. Did I marry a mirror?

But he’s totally right, and I respect him even more for being blunt with me. I don’t want to walk around like a mess (I can’t even say hot mess), when I know that I can reflect myself so much brighter if I just put in a smidge more effort.

So in case you are in a fashion/beauty slump, here are five tips to help you feel your best, even if you can’t update your wardrobe or beauty routine.

5 Easy Steps to Feel Better Everyday

1. Give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can. I know it, you know it and everyone around you knows it. Don’t be hard on yourself for the little things that don’t really matter. You didn’t have time to do your hair this morning? So what! Did you still show up to work on time and give it your best go. You sure did! Give yourself the grace to know that you are still worthy and beautiful, even if you don’t see it in the mirror.
2. Buy yourself one new thing. I’m not always an advocate for retail therapy, but once in a while I think we all need a pick-me-up. Will a new lipstick make you feel fierce? Is a new blazer the thing that will make you more confident for your next meeting? Have you not bought a new pair of boots in a few years? Like they say, treat yo’ self!
3. Ask for fashion help. Remember in college when you could ask your roommate how you looked before you went out? Those were the good old days, right?! Well, why can’t we still count on our friends or loved ones to let us know how we look? I trust my husband to tell me if I’m good to go, but if he’s not around I’ll Facetime or send an outfit pic to my mom. Find that person who will be there for you to tell you yay or nay.
4. Plan your outfits ahead of time. I used to be really good at this in high school. Maybe because I had hardly any other responsibilities back then, but I would take the time each night to pick out my outfit from head to toe. I hardly ever (i.e. never) do this anymore. I wear the same pair of pearl earrings, my wedding and engagement rings and occasionally a bracelet or necklace. Shoes? I have too many pairs of shoes to count, but I probably rotate between three or four throughout the year. And I prefer wearing dresses so that I don’t have to worry about picking out a top and bottom… one and done. But I have all the right tools to plan for nicer outfits, if I just gave myself the extra time to put them together. Do yourself a favor, make time.
5. Stick motivational notes on your mirror. I know it sounds corny, but having motivational quotes right in your face will make you feel, well, motivated. Write love notes to yourself. Tell yourself you’re beautiful. Give yourself a metaphorical high five. Whatever inspires you, write it down and stick it eye level on your mirror. You know it’s the first place you’re going in the morning as you get ready, so pump yourself up! It’s not always easy to look in the mirror and say, “I look good today,” so do yourself a favor a write a note to your future self telling her she’s gorgeous, inside and out.

On your path to being your best self

We all can’t be fashionistas, looking chic and perfect everyday. Some of you out there might have it on lock, but I will be the first to admit that my fashion game is in the shitter. But that doesn’t mean I need to bring my spirits down while I figure out my wardrobe. Little steps can make you feel good everyday, until the day that your dream closet exists.

Until then, what helps you feel better about yourself? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below.