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Do You Want to Change Your Name After the Wedding?
Congratulations! If you’re reading this article, I’m guessing you’re either getting married soon or recently married. I’m so happy for you and your spouse and wish you all the happiness in your new life together!
Now after all the planning of the actual wedding, there’s a lot to get done as a newlywed couple. If you haven’t already done so, marriage requires some life switches such as changing your last name, combining bank accounts, filing taxes together, sharing insurance and so much more.
Since we’re living in the 21st Century, I realize that most couples merge their lives way before marriage. This article is not about how marriage should go or what I think you should do in your partnership. I am a firm believer that how you decide to function in your marriage is completely up to the couple. Do what’s best for you and your spouse!
That being said, one big decision is changing your name. This is a legal change that will affect you for the rest of your life. It’s a BIG decision. For most women, I think you probably have a clear idea of how you feel on this topic. And I highly recommend discussing this with your partner before getting hitched. You both need to be on the same page about this before signing your marriage license.
Again, you need to know what’s best for you and your spouse. This article is not to advocate one way or the other! You simply need to ask yourself if you want to change your name after marriage. If the answer is yes, please keep reading. If you answer no, please check out some other articles on this site.
How to Change Your Name
So you want to change your name? Great. I will keep reiterating that this is 100% your decision. Legally changing your name is a big deal. You will need to get all new legal documents, change all of your paperwork at work and medical offices, learn a new signature and get used to being called a new name. It’s literally changing your identity.
The reason I say this is because it was a difficult task for me. I knew I wanted to change my name after marriage because I wanted to be one family with my husband and our future kids. I wanted to be identified as one unit – and in my eyes that was all sharing the same last name. This is just my personal opinion and my personal decision. Again, no judgements for your personal choices or the reasons behind them.
So, even though I wanted to take my husband’s name, it was a daunting process to actually change it. I was 29 when I got married, so I had 29 years of being the same person! I know, I know. I’m still the same person, but my name – my identity – was about to completely change.
That being said, I waited almost an entire year after we got married to actually go through the process of changing my name. And man, it was a long process!
But the good news is, you’re here because you’re doing some research to make the process easier. And I think I can help make it a little less daunting by sharing my experience. Once you start the process, it isn’t so difficult at all. It’s just a matter of knowing where to start, and more importantly, doing things in the right order.
Full disclaimer before I go through the steps that I went through to change my name. I am not a legal professional and this is not legal advice. These are simply the steps I took to change my name.
Please note that the process may be slightly different depending on where you live. Especially when it comes to changing your driver’s license, registration, etc., as these are slightly different state by state. My advice would be to check with your local motor vehicle commission to find the exact documents and steps you will need to change your name.
Finally, while this process is completely doable on your own, you can save time and headaches by using a service that helps you through the process. I used HitchSwitch, an online service that helps you through the name change process.
What I liked about HitchSwitch is you can pick different levels – from printing at home to a full concierge service that held your hand through the entire process. I’ve outlined the exact steps to begin your legal name change process, but more on this service below.
Here are the Steps to Change Your Name
Get a certified copy of your marriage certificate.
You will need your marriage certificate for virtually all the following steps. This proves why you are making a name change. In addition, you will need your marriage certificate if you want to add your spouse to your insurance or vice versa.
There is a fee associated with obtaining a certified copy of your marriage certificate, so be prepared for that. In addition, you may want to obtain more than one copy in case you need the certificate for multiple steps at once (more on that below.)
Change your name with Social Security.
Getting a new Social Security Card must be done before any other changes since this identifies you with the federal government. Once you go to the Social Security office and file the appropriate paperwork, they will mail you a new card within a week. You will need to wait 48 hours to complete the next steps (you do not need your physical card, but you do need to allow for processing with the government systems.)
Update your Passport with your new name.*
*You only need a passport if you plan to travel internationally. If you do not need a Passport you may skip to the next step.
There is a form you will need to fill out and you need to mail in your old passport with a copy of your certified marriage certificate. A passport can take up to 8 weeks to be processed, so if you are updating your passport, you may want to obtain two copies of your marriage certificate for the following steps.
Get a new Driver’s License and Registration.
As I mentioned above, you will need to check with your state’s Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to complete this step. You can find the information online of what you need to bring with you (usually proof of identity and address), along with your marriage certificate and your current driver’s license.
Change your name for voting and with the IRS.
You can fill out simple forms online to make sure you change your name on documents for voting and filing taxes. In New Jersey, my voter ID was updated when I updated my driver’s license, but this may be different from state to state.
Update your credit cards and bank accounts.
Once you have your updated license, you can go to your bank and update your accounts with your new name. They may also ask for your marriage certificate, so it’s smart to just keep that with you throughout the process. If you bank with an online bank or non-bank credit cards, you can change your name over the phone. They may ask you to then mail a copy of your marriage certificate or other documents as proof.
Let your work know you changed your name.
You should let your work peeps know you changed your name so they can update all of your documents. This may include a new email address, business cards, name plate, etc.
They will also help you update your tax forms and insurance. Remember, you can only change insurance/benefits within 30-days of a life event, so you’ll want to do that right away if you are combining benefits policies. If not, you will need to wait until open enrollment which generally happens in the fall.
Touch base with doctors offices and others.
This is something you can do as you need to. It’s generally okay (in my experience at least) to wait until you go to your doctor to let them know you changed your name. They may ask for your new license and, of course, updated medical insurance, when you go for your next appointment.
Change online accounts and others.
I’m saying this as a catchall for any non-essential accounts or other businesses. For instance, your subscriptions (like Netflix and Amazon) and any social media platforms you use. You will probably get notified if you’re on automatic payments, as things will update when you change your credit card information. This sort of happens naturally as things come up.
The Easiest Way to Change Your Name
Now that you see all the steps that it takes to change your name, you might be feeling overwhelmed. I know I was. Even though I’ve outlined the steps in the general order you should do them, there are still a ton of forms to fill out and process.
As long as you complete step 1, getting your marriage certificate, there is an easier way to get this done. As I mentioned above, I utilized an online service called HitchSwitch. With HitchSwitch they took all the guesswork out of the process.
Once you sign up online and pick your package (from basic “print at home” to full concierge), just input your information on their site and they will send you all the forms you need already filled out. Then they will also send you a road map of what steps to do when and how you need to do them (for instance, mailing in the form versus going in person).
It was the easiest process once I decided to use HitchSwitch. And the best part was, once you ordered your package you could utilize their customer service if any questions come up. For instance, you can email them for any documents not listed on their site, including credit cards.
I highly recommend using this service or something similar to save yourself time and headaches. Unless you like navigating government websites and filling out forms with the same information multiple times, it’s totally worth the small fee to have everything laid out for you.
Final Thoughts
Again, congratulations on your marriage! This is an exciting time for you and your spouse. If and when you’re ready to change your name, take a minute to read through the process and take it step by step.
If the process seems overwhelming, don’t fret. It’s worth the small investment to utilize a service like HitchSwitch to help you navigate the process. If you are still planning your wedding, you can add HitchSwitch or a similar service to your wedding registry. It’s a great gift to request and is great for the gift giver who likes more practical gifts.
Whether you do it yourself or use a service, take your time and try not to stress. This should be a happy time for you. Enjoy this big life change with your husband and just take it one step at a time.
If you have any questions, drop a note in the comments below!